WARHAMMER. An Immodest Errand


The characters:

  • Marise Devereaux. A Bretonnian noblewoman, currently apprenticed to Hella Goldblatt to become a member of the Elector Countess’s musketeers in Nuln. She has an entourage, even: Ella Rieger, Erik Beer, Louisa Seff, and Helga Geiger.
  • Kurt Semmle. A tough outrider, Nuln native.
  • Sevn Coppervien. Dwarven slayer, seeking a good death in battle.

Noble back channel negotiation got this crew recommended for different reasons, for a mission on behalf of a mysterious noble. A less mysterious noble, Tom Hauser, met them in the snug of the Staggered Stag with a mission.

They were to take a light carriage decorated with the heraldry of Morr, and travel to the town of Wurstheim and back in one day. The round trip was about forty miles, but it must be managed swiftly. They were to pick up a paramour for a noble, and get back in a timely fashion, as his wife would only be out of town for a few days and he had many needs to satisfy. They agreed to the mission, and got a good night’s sleep at the Stag.

The Journey to Wurstheim

Marise was ready to go bright and early, well before dawn. She had told her entourage they could stay in town (and given them some money to spend) so they were content. However, she was the first one to the stable. She bullied the stable staff into preparing the coach, so when Kurt swaggered up and Sevn pried himself away from his breakfast, they were only a little behind schedule.

Kurt was an expert coachman, so he sat on the buckboard in the pouring rain while Sevn and Marise sat inside the coach.

They passed the northward journey without incident; even the toll station was uneventful.

Upon reaching Wurstheim, a logging town, they had lunch at the Gretchin Pot before heading over to the town’s single stone building.

They were allowed in, to pick up the “Priestess of Morr” that they had come to transport (a paper-thin deception to add some subterfuge to the arrangement.) Uta Westheimer was a statuesque beauty with creamy skin, her face hidden behind a veil.


As they headed back to the Pot to get the coach and head out with no further delay, they were confronted by Hannes Wasserman and two of his buddies. He was a huge man, and he unleashed a passionate plea for Uta to stay in Wurstheim; the noble did not love her like he did, and would use her up and discard her, etc. She found this most distressing, but was not sympathetic to him. Out of ideas, he resorted to violence, charging her guardians.

Sevn slew two of the thugs (one of them because Kurt lassoed him as he was trying to flee, so he didn’t escape the dwarf’s charge range), and the other got away. Uta was badly shaken. Town guards ran up to see what was going on. Kurt showed them the coins the thugs had tried to steal, and let the guards take them for safekeeping. The guards suggested they should stay in town unless there were questions ::wink:: and left. Moments later, the coach was back on the road, headed south to Nuln.

About half an hour into the trip, they stopped at a stream to get most of the blood and viscera off. Kurt sensed incoming foes in the forest, possibly friends of Hannes; they got back on the road. Uta was still upset, but they were to transport her, not keep her happy.

If a Tree Falls in the Forest

A falling tree almost took out the horses, but Kurt’s expert handling saved them, and calmed them down enough to not panic as four beastmen raced out of the woods and sprang at the coach, scrabbling up with an assault.

The battle was sharp, but brief. Three of the beast men were brutally slain, the last escaped into the woods to blow his horn and summon others. Meanwhile, Kurt had been slashed in the gut, and his survival was in question. He got enough medical attention to keep his guts in, and slumped on the buckboard as Sevn and Marise desperately tried to drag or chop the tree out of the way so the carriage could make it through.

They barely shifted it enough, and took a chance on ramming it through and risking damage to the carriage or horses if it didn’t go well. After all, if they stayed put, they were certain to face worse damage.

They made it through, and headed back to Nuln, where they turned over the carriage and traumatized mistress and got paid. Hooray!

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